I've already posted something to this effect on Facebook, but I'm going to go into a little more detail about it here.
I'm issuing a general moratorium on issuing free writing/publishing and/or professional work advice to people. I've had way too many bad experiences with people asking me for help, which I freely give (usually to people I thought were my friends), and then acting like assholes and/or dropping me like a hot potato as soon as they get what they wanted from me. I seldom grant these requests for favors to begin with, but when I do, 3/4 of the recipients act like total jerks. Often because what I tell them about what it takes to write/publish professionally FOR A LIVING (I think it is important to be honest) isn't what they want to hear. (Translation: What aspiring writers usually want to hear is, "Oh, you're awesome, and brilliant, and you're God's gift to the world, and of course, you can make a million dollars TOMORROW without actually working for it? Of course, this isn't what I usually say, so the overly egotistical people who didn't get told what they wanted to hear inevitably get pissed off.)
I am so freaking sick of people taking advantage of my generosity and basically acting like turds instead of being thankful for me taking the time out of my busy schedule to offer some professional advice and expertise based on my own experience writing for a living. This kind of behavior smacks of our selfish, instant-gratification, entitlement-driven culture. Sheesh, people, just stop it.
So, if you want free writing advice, don't ask. If you want publishing contacts for your buddies' supposed half-baked new venture-capital project into online gaming that will include content generated by internationally bestselling sci-fi authors, don't ask. If you want free tips on doing business in China, don't ask. If you want to know how to supplement your income by writing articles for vet and horse magazines, don't ask. Ad nauseum. Because I'll just delete your email. 'Kay?
If you want free writing advice, go to your local library and check out some books. Or subscribe to Writer's Digest. Or read my blog, or read the scores of other blogs out there that cover the publishing industry. Take some freaking initiative, for Chrissakes. There is no free lunch, and anybody who thinks that we working professional writers have massive amounts of free time to spare giving out free advice and/or doing free editing work for you really needs to buy a clue. You wouldn't call up your family doctor and ask him to treat you for free. You wouldn't expect a lawyer to give out free legal advice. Why should I be any different? And if I choose to be generous and give out free advice anyway out of the kindness of my heart, don't freaking bite the hand that feeds you.
People, I work 70-80 hours a week. I've got a kid. And I'm dealing with some health problems. So unless you're already an established publishing professional who knows how to behave professionally in this industry, DON'T ASK ME FOR ANY FAVORS. I won't grant them. I'm sick of being taken advantage of. I don't care if you were friends with me 20 years ago---if you act like a complete self-righteous asshole right after I try to help you, well, then we aren't friends anymore. (Here's a clue: we obviously never were).
Rant over.
Peace.
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3 comments:
I just set personal rules as to how far I will go, and I've learned how to say no.
I will help anyone promote if I really like their work. I feel strongly about helping out Indie authors...if I like their work. But I think it's important to set personal guidelines as to how far you can...or will...go.
Ryan, I think it's great how supportive you are of other writers. But you're doing it for other PROFESSIONALS. Who probably already know how to behave. I've learned the hard way not to be nice to "friends". Pros/colleagues who already know what they are doing, I'm always happy to support. But I'm done doing the favors for fake "friends" only interested in themselves.
Oh, Jill. This sounds just so rotten, on top of everything else. Fie upon those who take advantage of kindness! We need to encourage generous folks in our gimme-gimme world, not piss on them. And of course, I am embarrassed to admit that I was one of the people who was gearing up to ask you about freelancing! So... thanks for the warning and the honesty; I shall follow your advice and look elsewhere. I'm still hoping to get to know you better via A&S, and maybe learn some more about THAT kind of writing! I hope you have at least as many belly laughs today as rants... a good dose of endorphins to help you heal and cope. Are you familiar with Laughter Yoga? I'm fascinated but haven't found a time/place to try yet. Take care, and hope to see you soon!
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